I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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