thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
