My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
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