Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
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