Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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