Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
