p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
this boner is exhausting
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
