Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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