We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
