Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
