I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
