Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
