No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
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