Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
