Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
