I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
