are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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