there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
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