so that wasnt chicken after all
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Randomize
