You can't motorboat a personality
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
