I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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