just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
