Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
