Apparently you make a good broom.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
