i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
