are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I need to calm my uterus...
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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