Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize