HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Randomize
