i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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