Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
