I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
