He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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