Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
