It's like God shit irony all over that family
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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