What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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