I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
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Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
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