worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n