The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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