I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
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