We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
