I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize