So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Damn victory sex feels great
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