thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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