dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
cat food counts as protein by the way
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
