So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I am mentally ready for anal.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
