grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
