Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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