I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
