called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Randomize
