I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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