Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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