wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
