Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
one might say we're banned from that church
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Randomize
