Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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