yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize