She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
