i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
