grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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