My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
