well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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